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302-478-7100 Wilmington & Hockessin, DE

Lynn Jean Loper

April 26, 2020

 When next you see a rose, think of Lynn.

 Lynn passed away at home as her roses awakened outside. Her long winter ends, melting to an eternal spring. If you knew Lynn, you know that like her roses, she gave more, so much more, than she ever asked for herself in return. Roses are tenacious: they struggle through the hardest winters, they survive ravaging storms, they ask for so little to live, even when they’re sick. Yet through it all they blossom and hint at the possibility of perfection. And if you knew Lynn, you also know about thorns. Humorous and sarcastic barbs were there, but these were gentle pricks to remind us of what’s real. The thorns are there to warn us, to guide us, to require us to be gentle and respectful when reaching for perfection.

 Lynn loved her little city of Wilmington where she was born in 1955: a proud Delaware native! She was the only Methodist in the Ursuline class of 1973. Maybe the fact that she needed books as much as food allowed her to score a perfect 800 on her verbal SAT, something that always impressed me, whereas she just shrugged. She was married in November, 1976, at Kemble Memorial United Methodist Church in Woodbury, New Jersey. She graduated from the University of Delaware with a degree in political science, and went on with graduate studies in Scandinavian history, specifically Vikings, who she called the world’s greatest salesmen. Old High Norse and life’s realities got in the way though. She stayed at the University of Delaware for 19 years, working in admissions as a transfer credit evaluator until forced to retire due to a health problem. But roses are tough! She recovered, and worked for AACRAO- the American Association of Collegiate Registrars and Admissions Officers- as a senior foreign educational credentials analyst. She felt blessed to be able to help foreign students, some in desperate situations in their own country, navigate the complicated waters of disparate educational systems to reach for their American dream.

 She leaves behind her loving husband Tom, her cousin Michelle, her dear Aunt Judy, and uncle Mitch, and goes to be with her mother Barbara, uncle Tommy, Cousin Trish, and cousin Kevin. She couldn’t wait to pet her dog Charlie again!

 A loyal Democrat, she traveled with her grandmother to the Democratic National Conventions in 1964 and 1968. Yes- 1968, in Chicago, at the Conrad Hilton, where she and her gray-haired grandmother were clubbed by police. They were simply coming back to the hotel from the Amphitheatre. For Lynn, politics was visceral. She proposed to Joe Biden, the speaker at her high school graduation, who signed her yearbook with “Thanks for asking!”

 In 1992, she tried out for Jeopardy! at Resorts International Casino in Atlantic City. She just wanted to see if she could pass the qualifying tests. At work, two weeks later, she got a call from California to come play. She was on Jeopardy! three times, winning two games and a trip to Montreal. (“Of course, you’ll want to go in June,” said the coordinator. “Oh no!” said Lynn. “January, to see the Flyers at the Forum!” When we arrived, it was 15 below!) I think Alex Trebek really liked her because she showed she loved the game, was obviously having fun, and never gave up, coming from behind to win both games.

 She loved the beach, the ocean, the sea gulls flying stitching sky to waves. “Down the shore” was a refuge, an escape (her on-line friends understand!) from her stormy past. Her garden was a joy, Christmas, her needlepoint, her books, her Broad Street Bullies. She cherished her brief time as a volunteer with Literacy Delaware. She donated to many charities, even when we didn’t really have the money: Heifer International, Médecins Sans Frontières, Kiva, Southern Poverty Law Center, Fistula Foundation, ANY community drive-by fund raiser, or friends who just needed a little help.

 She always cared more for others than herself. He career was spent helping others. She’s helping others right now, even in death, as a body donor with the Humanity Gifts Registry in Philadelphia.

 When next you see a rose, think of Lynn.

 The only thing she wanted in remembrance of her is that you give a little something to a charity of your choice, a little something to help someone else.

 Somewhere between head and heart and need,

The place emotions stir to life, at rest

In bone and flesh, that fertile, awful seed

That pulls clenched fists to helpless chests

And brings such useless rain to barren ground,

Unwanted yet it grows. It chokes out all

That is to come, all that would be found,

And leaves within this tangled life a pall.

But now a time to rest, a time to weave

These woven lines of rhyme, to simply wait

Among the weeds, unable to believe

The forces willed to bring us to this gate.

 

Her garden waits, her sleeping roses stir

And call her through this haze, this brutal blur.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funeral Services

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Condolences

    Tom
    04/30/2020 03:56 pm
    Tom lit a candle
    04/30/2020 03:57 pm
    Tom lit a candle and writes,
    I love you Lynn
    04/30/2020 04:01 pm
    Pam Austen writes,
    Tom, Greg and I are so very, very sorry for you great loss. Our love, thoughts & prayers surround in your grief. We hope we can come see you as soon as it is safe. Love, Greg & Pam
    04/30/2020 04:53 pm
    Greg & Pam Austen writes,
    Tom, Greg & I are so very, very sorry for your great loss. Our love, thoughts & prayers surround you in your grief. We hope that we can come see you as soon as it is safe to do so. Love, Greg & Pam
    04/30/2020 04:56 pm
    Molly Carpenter writes,
    So beautiful Tom, your writing paints a lovely and profound picture of an amazing person. Knowing Lynn made My life better, and for that I am thankful. God bless.
    04/30/2020 05:33 pm
    Doug Naphas lit a candle and writes,
    I wouldn't be who I am today without my favorite aunt (no offense to any other aunts). I felt she really understood me, and it meant the world to me.
    05/01/2020 01:39 am
    Kelley Sanderson lit a candle and writes,
    Lynn was my cherished friend for twelve years, a brilliant and funny woman who made every day better for those lucky enough to know her. The greatest lesson she taught me was to continue to engage with life even if your body betrays you. We all have a tendency to withdraw when times are hard, but Lynn never hesitated to reach out and say, "This is a bad day." I don't know if she knew it, but this was a gift to her community of friends, allowing us to come together and share our love for her. Welcome to the Summerlands, Lynn Darlin; I will see you again one day. ♥
    05/01/2020 10:06 am
    Lori Challinor lit a candle and writes,
    Lynn's passion, humor, and simple brilliance and honesty made her special to me. She will be greatly missed. Her open love for all that she cared about was inspiring.
    05/01/2020 10:28 am
    Leesa G Brown lit a candle and writes,
    Lynn, you will be missed. Your tenacity through all the struggles stays with me. I know how hard you fought. I think of you sometimes when I'm taking a photo, wondering if it is one you would enjoy. You are always welcome to join me when I'm out taking photos. I lost my mother in 2014, and I still feel her with me while I'm out, sometimes. Join us anytime. Hugs!!
    05/01/2020 10:35 am
    Eleanor Hudson lit a candle and writes,
    Rest now, dearest, in a garden where soft summer never ends, and roses bloom forever.
    05/01/2020 10:37 am
    Terry lit a candle and writes,
    Thanks Lynn for showing us that life is worth fighting for. If anyone ever earned the right to rest in peace, it is you.
    05/01/2020 10:38 am
    Kevin Kooiker lit a candle
    05/01/2020 10:38 am
    Kirstin Dohrer writes,
    Lynn was among only a handful of people who have remained in my life from my entry into the virtual world 15+ years ago. Brilliant, loving, and oh so wickedly funny, I am grateful for having known her. A bright new star shines in the heavens tonight. I hope she can see me waving.
    05/01/2020 10:45 am
    Patti writes,
    Lynn was such a dear and loving woman. She was fierce in her devotion to her husband and friends. I am at a loss because I can't put into words what it means to lose such an amazing friend.
    05/01/2020 10:47 am
    Carol Lloyd Neill lit a candle and writes,
    I'm going to steal a line from Tom Waits to describe Lynn: "...she was sharp as a razor, soft as a prayer..." I met Lynn online in 2006 and immediately recognized a friend. We were the same age, products of Catholic high schools, born-and bred Democrats, and we both had one special relative who helped make our younger lives bearable - Lynn had her beloved Uncle Tommy, I had my Grandpa. I always knew Lynn understood. That Lynn remained so firmly entrenched in the world, so insistent on trying to make it better, while her body betrayed her, was a miracle. Just like Lynn. When I vote for Joe Biden in November, Lynn will be there with me in the voting booth. And I will smile through the tears, thankful I got to be on this planet at the same time she was.
    05/01/2020 10:48 am
    Kirstin
    05/01/2020 10:54 am
    Marcy Picardi writes,
    ❤️
    05/01/2020 11:09 am
    Pam Crabtree lit a candle and writes,
    I met Lynn through garden blogging at Daily Kos some time around 2005. Last week we planted two rose bushes on either end of a row of grape vines. When they bloom, I will think of Lynn. Rest in peace, my friend.
    05/01/2020 11:13 am
    Julia Varnell-Sarjeant lit a candle and writes,
    So often Lynn would offer words of encouragement when things were rough. I remember her witty comments, her helpful suggestions, her determination in the face of so much difficulty. I held her in my heart through these last years of challenge, and while I will miss her terribly, I am glad she is out of pain. May she sleep peacefully. I wish I could send the picture I have that so reminds me of her - dusty rose colored roses with sage colored candles. Much love, Lynn.
    05/01/2020 11:22 am
    Chuck Stonecipher writes,
    This obituary is how I became acquainted with Lynn. It is a beautiful tribute. I know her only because of a troop of imaginary trouble-makers- thanks for that.
    05/01/2020 11:40 am
    Barbara lit a candle and writes,
    She created a beautiful home and the perfect life for her and my brother. She loved with great passion and cared about her friends and family with great depth. Strong like the root, tough as the stem, prickly( at times) like a thorn, fragile as a petal, but a gift like the bloom of the perfect rose. We will miss you my friend and sister.
    05/01/2020 11:57 am
    Debbie Whitehouse
    05/01/2020 12:01 pm
    Michelle Fistek writes,
    I love you Lynn! We'll meet and play with our dogs in a beautiful garden! It will look just like Longwood Gardens!! Miss you so. See you sweetie!!
    05/01/2020 12:02 pm
    Stan Bozarth writes,
    I didn't know Lynn, but Kelly S. passed on her obituary and she was certainly a wonderful person.. My heart-felt condolences to her family and friends.
    05/01/2020 12:31 pm
    Kris DiGiovanni lit a candle and writes,
    Lynn was so brilliant, so witty, and so caring. She is the epitome of the saying, "only the good die young." She will be deeply missed. My wish for her is an eternity of roses, and the peace or which she fought so hard near the end of her life..
    05/01/2020 03:20 pm
    Mary Kennedy lit a candle and writes,
    I met Lynn online and never had the opportunity to visit with her in person, but that doesn't negate our friendship in any way. As much as I had a "dead thumb" she encouraged me and I was able to coax a few hearty lilies, irises and finally some drift roses into bloom. And when they bloom, I am reminded of her, and will continue to be reminded of her, and I shall keep trying to do better. I so enjoyed her writing, and the lovely things that she would share, whether it was the costume history, the flowers and plants, or her views on education. And today I am wearing the wonderful pink striped "pussy hat" that she crocheted so lovingly for me and which is already a veteran of several marches and gatherings. Please accept my condolences, Tom, and Rest in Power, Dear Friend.
    05/01/2020 03:45 pm
    Trish Groski lit a candle and writes,
    We lived so close, yet I never got to meet Lynn in person. Still, I count her as one of a handful of good friends. I'll miss you, Lynn, but I am planting a rose to remember you by. Tom, I am so so sorry. I know your heart is broken, and everything feels empty now. But she is still with you.
    05/01/2020 05:19 pm
    Gregg Bender writes,
    I only knew her online, but she leaves a large hole nonetheless.
    05/01/2020 05:34 pm
    Marna Riser writes,
    While we never met in person, the GOS brought our imaginary friends group together. I loved to see Lynn's posts and her take on things. I had some amazing double delight roses in my kitchen briefly today. When my roses bloom this season, I'll be thinking of Lynn. And I'm off to donate in Lynn's name to my local food bank. My heartfelt condolences to you, Tom.
    05/01/2020 05:43 pm
    Marna Riser lit a candle
    05/01/2020 05:45 pm
    Cari Romaine lit a candle and writes,
    I’m going to miss Lynn’s sense of humor, even through the pain we were in. I hope she is flying high and look forward to seeing her.
    05/01/2020 05:53 pm
    Anne writes,
    I have it on very good authority that our dear friend Lynn also scored a perfect 800 in life. I know we will all always miss her.
    05/01/2020 11:07 pm
    Phil N DeBlanc lit a candle and writes,
    Beautiful words for a beautiful woman, Tom. I know the loss of your wife, partner and best friend first hand and my heart goes out to you and your family. ❤
    05/02/2020 03:11 am
    Toby Oberg lit a candle and writes,
    I can't remember if I met Lynn in the garden blogging posts or in the kiddie pool (Cheers and Jeers) on dailykos but I do remember enjoying conversing with her in both places. And I remember her roses. My heartfelt condolences to her family and friends. I will think of her whenever I see roses.
    05/02/2020 06:54 am
    CR Padula writes,
    When I think of Lynn, I think of Courage, love, compassion, humor, brilliance, and humbleness, roses and sea glass, the many lives she touched. I think of Tom, his steadfast love and courage, his grief. The world is a smaller place without her. We must carry her with us as we laugh and love and make this world a better place, the place she fought for all her life. Donation made in her honor to our local women's shelter.
    05/02/2020 09:13 am
    Tongue of Doom Holly Kim lit a candle and writes,
    Now to tell how Lynn named me Tongue of Doom. One day on thefuh-q list, Lynn had asked a question about something, don't remember what. Another list member answered it. Lynn replied with a smooch. She got back " what, no tongue?" She admitted to not liking that. Well, it just hit me at the wrong moment. I thought about it and then replied with "Lynnth, I wanth to lickth youth." Got a virtual scream,and a door slam. The neutral zone bunker was created. Had cable with a 24 hour hockey channel. Full supply of Tasty Cakes. And I was named the Tongue of Doom. I still wear it proudly.
    05/02/2020 09:27 am
    Sharon Joyce lit a candle
    05/02/2020 02:13 pm
    Charlene
    05/02/2020 03:56 pm
    James Byrd writes,
    For Lynn: Bouquet The rose is the heart in its young shape.. then it opens to reveal the beauty within. Pansies in spring, with their little lion faces, laugh away the cold and end the gray days. Daffodils and daisies are children playing… bringing joy and sunlight to the soul. Lantana gathers itself into little bouquets of blue, red, yellow, and orange. Queen Anne’s lace spreads her work in the sun and Black-eyed Susans crowd around to see. But, above all, the rose is the heart in its young shape and it’s mystery is in the love it conveys. For those who miss her: Sing, Wounded Soul I cannot hold your cries, they slip through my fingers. I cannot take away your pain, it lies so far beyond my reach. I cannot dig out your sorrow, its roots are too deep. I cannot chase away your fears, they hide and creep out later. I can only tell you, you are loved. So, sing, wounded soul… your tears do not fall into emptiness. JDB
    05/02/2020 07:02 pm
    Kathy writes,
    30 some odd years ago, I started working at UD in student billing. Needing info from the Registrar's Office, I called and spoke with an amazingly knowledgable woman. Little did I know, Lynn would become a dear friend on and off campus. While her brilliance was palpable, I spent the next 30 years trying to keep up. Fortunately, she was as kind as she was smart. Somehow, tragically, our wills and stubbornness collided a few years ago and I never acted on my strong desire to resume contact (mostly due to fear of rejection). Not a day has passed that I haven't thought "I have to call Lynn, I'll send a letter to Lynn..." I never did either and now I suffer even more for that lost time, the years without that amazing woman to talk to. Funny, it's like being widowed all over again. Lynn, I never stopped admiring and loving (and missing) you. I sincerely hope you are flying from planet to planet, taking charge of space exploration. No candle from me... 🌹⚘🚀🛸🌈 🥀 Tom, Lynn was blessed to have found forever love, and so were you. 💗💐
    05/02/2020 08:45 pm
    Carolee Thumma lit a candle and writes,
    My condolences to her family and friends. I didn't know Lynn, I was linked to her obit at Daily Kos. But after just reading her obit I wish I had known her, she seems like one of those people that gets people motivated, leads the charge to correct the mistakes and then give you a hug afterwards when it's all done with. I truly wish I had known this wonderful lady.
    05/02/2020 09:04 pm
    Audri
    05/03/2020 11:51 am
    Ruth Linton lit a candle and writes,
    Lynn loved her flowers and her kitties, her family and her friends. I miss her humor, wit, insight, and friendship. This time of year, we always talked flowers. What a joy! And so smart! Always a stimulating conversation with Lynn. My sympathies and condolences on your loss.
    05/10/2020 04:42 pm
    Jennifer Hellstrom writes,
    Lynn sounds like a pretty amazing person. I wish I could've had a chance to meet her. You bring her life through her eulogy, I can hear and feel the love through your words. I am sorry for your loss and I thank you for sharing your beautiful memories of her and her life. Bless you
    05/17/2020 12:49 pm
    Linda White writes,
    I deeply regret not having met your loving wife Tom. You and I have had occasion to express ourselves on class, leadership and presidential qualities on a local website. I send deepest condolences with gratitude for sharing Lynn’s story. I trust she would approve the donation I will make today to Nancy Pelosi’s campaign. Don’t try to be brave now but do try to stay well. In sorrow, Linda White
    05/17/2020 01:49 pm
    Carolyn Griffith lit a candle and writes,
    Tom, I have never met you or Lynn, but I am so very sorry for your loss. She was wealthy in what matters most—the love of those who knew her.
    05/17/2020 04:56 pm
    John J Hartnett Jr lit a candle and writes,
    Tom, it was a sad day when you told me that Lynn passed. So glad that I got to know her over the years, even though she was a Democrat :-). Your eulogy was beautiful and I'm happy to hear that she's helping others even now that she's passed.
    05/18/2020 11:28 am
    Jennifer P DeLuca lit a candle and writes,
    My heart is with your family. Kind generous people. Jennifer DeLuca
    10/25/2020 04:22 pm

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