302-478-7100 Wilmington & Hockessin, DE

Jane H. Frelick

Jane Frelick, née Jane Owen Hayden, age 99, wife of the late Robert Frelick, M.D., died on September 4, 2019 at the Lorelton in Wilmington, Delaware. Born in Chicopee, Massachusetts, she was the daughter of the late Oliver Mills Hayden and Dorothy Lucille Clark Hayden. The family moved to Delaware in 1926.
As a 1937 graduate of Friends School in Wilmington, Jane Frelick was the last living student who attended the location at 4th and West Streets. Jane graduated with a BA from Oberlin College and a masters-in-nursing from Yale University. She joined her husband and worked as a civilian nurse with the occupation forces in Germany in 1946-47. Bob and Jane then returned to Wilmington, where they established a medical practice from their Deerhurst home office on Murphy road which served the community for 30 years. They moved to her parents’ home in Westover Hills in 1976.
Jane’s home was a welcoming sanctuary to itinerant opera singers, exchange students, foreign travelers and refugees, as well as far-flung family and friends. Jane was active in numerous national and local organizations, including the PTA, the League of Women Voters, Opera Delaware, and PFLAG. She was an active member of the Unitarian Universalist Society of Mill Creek. She was active in campaigns to educate children against smoking, to stop gun violence, and to promote fluoridated water and safe and legal abortions. Her volunteer activities included tutoring at the Baylor Women’s Correction Facility and the Ferris School and serving on the advisory board of the Delaware Center for Justice. Starting with a singing role in 1936, Jane was a lifelong member of the Brandywiners. She was active in amateur theater, and at age 94 performed in the local movie, The Wilmingtonians. At the age of 90, the Delmarva Blood Bank honored Jane for having donated over ten gallons of blood. She received the Wilmington Friends School Alumna of the Year award in 1982.
Jane Frelick is survived by five children: Susan Goekler of Rehoboth DE (Mac Goekler); Alcy Frelick of McLean VA (Bill Martin); Sally O’Byrne of Wilmington (Terry O’Byrne); Bill Frelick of Columbia, MD (Helen Lann); and Scott Frelick of Wilmington. Also surviving are nine grandchildren (Jim Wooley, Krista Register, Victoria Martin, William Martin, Hayden O’Byrne, Ellie Anderbyrne, Claire O’Byrne, Talya Frelick, and Jacob Frelick), and eight great-grandchildren (Hailey Curtiss, Lucas Wright, Rivka Anwander, Ari Anwander, Annika Anderbyrne, Lisa Anderbyrne, Charlie Teague, and Robbie O’Byrne), many nieces and nephews, Jane’s one cousin Donn Jourdan of Connecticut, and many people whose lives Jane touched.
A Memorial Service will be held at the Unitarian Universalist Society of Mill Creek, 579 Polly Drummond Hill Rd, Newark, DE 19711, on Saturday, October 5, 2019 at 2:00 p.m. Interment will be private.
In memory of Jane, please donate blood to your local blood bank or hospital or make a memorial donation to Delaware Center for Justice, 100 W. 10th St. Wilmington, DE 19801.

Funeral Services

A Memorial Service will be held at the Unitarian Universalist Society of Mill Creek, 579 Polly Drummond Hill Rd, Newark, DE 19711, on Saturday, October 5, 2019 at 2:00 p.m. Interment will be private.


    TWO WONDERFUL MEDICAL FAMILIES ON 202/MURPHY RD. lit a candle and writes,
    09/08/2019 11:31 am
    Kevin Melloy lit a candle and writes,
    My deepest condolences to the entire family.
    09/08/2019 03:11 pm
    Susan Yeow writes,
    Jane will be missed by countless people lucky to have had her in their lives. I am sure she is in a bright place resting from a life well lived.
    09/09/2019 04:48 pm
    Joan Dr. Donald Hayes Secretary lit a candle and writes,
    My Deepest Condolences to the Family. Mrs Frelick will be missed by everyone she was a Super Women.---Joani
    09/10/2019 10:57 am
    Cerdric R Marsh "Rick" lit a candle and writes,
    My heart goes out to the entire Frelick family, but especially Susan and Alcy. Jane was a wonderful person who with Bob toke care of a great neighborhood. May we all remember her as a fantastic and caring person.
    09/10/2019 12:23 pm
    Michelle Kramer-Fitzgerald & Scott Fitzgerald writes,
    So sorry for your family's loss. She truly lived and loved a wonderful life in full. We send your entire family our love and condolences.
    09/10/2019 03:42 pm
    Linda D Smith writes,
    Jane was my beloved. I am so grateful to God for allowing our lives to touch each other. I was Jane's caregiver for about 3 years, and they were the best years of my life. Caring for Jane was not a job it was an adventure! Being with Jane was like hanging out with Grandmom every day. We went swimming almost every day. When I told her I could not swim she would not have it, she found someone at the pool to teach me. When we went for long walks which we did almost every day, I could not keep up with her!! So I joined a gym and told them they had to teach me how to keep up with my 94 year old client!! It took me awhile but within about 6 months I was able to walk beside her without gasping for air and cramping up. I took Jane to different museums and cultural events which sparked my interest in history. We went to the library weekly which helped me rekindle my love for reading. Our regular visits to Longwood Gardens and Wintertour sparked my desire to have a prize winning yard which I have continued. So you see taking care of Jane was a blessing for me. I learned so much from her. I taught her about my culture as well so we always had plenty to talk about. I can't thank God enough for Jane and the blessing she was to me. As much as I hate needles, Jane even got me to donate blood!! I miss Jane but I am grateful that I have so many fond memories of her and I often talk about her and show off her pictures. My favorites are the one of her licking her nose and making a funny face. To Janes family I say I know you will grieve because you lost your mom, but even though weeping may endure for a night, joy will come in the morning. I don't know when that morning will be for you but when it does come I am grateful you will have so many good memories of Jane to warm your hearts and help you through the loss you feel. I love you all and thank you for allowing me to be a part of your family for a season. Love you Linda.
    09/12/2019 01:41 pm
    Barbara Marsh Fedeler lit a candle and writes,
    What a great lady! She was a prominent part of the Deerhurst contingency that formed the "village" that raised so many of us. May her life so well lived bring happy memories to her family. My sympathies. It's always hard to say good-by.
    09/12/2019 04:46 pm
    Laura Gardner lit a candle and writes,
    Janie was my second mom. My pie making Unitarian second mom. I stayed with Bob and Jane when I performed in Come Back Little Sheba at Delaware Theatre Company in 1984. Her kindness, generosity, humor, knowledge stay with me. I spoke with Mama Jane every few months, just a couple of months ago, in fact, and those calls will be sorely missed. Condolences to the family. And love and prayers.
    09/12/2019 05:12 pm
    Tina Christensen writes,
    Scott, I am so sad to read that your mother has passed away, my love and BIG hugs to all of you. Remember when we stopped at your parents house on the way to the beach house? I felt instantly at home and have never forgotten that trip, it was wonderful - Tina
    09/12/2019 05:18 pm
    Laura Gardner lit a candle and writes,
    I stayed with Jane and Bob in 1984 when I performed in Come Back Little Sheba st the Delaware Theatre Company. She became my Unitarian pie-baking mama. I was gifted with her generosity, warmth, love, knowledge and ease. We spoke every few months up til a couple of months ago. I will miss those calls. My deepest condolences to the family. I am grateful to have had her in my life.
    09/12/2019 05:19 pm
    Friends in The Wilmington Friends School 'Jones House' writes,
    Please accept our heartfelt sympathy to Jane's Friends and Family for their loss. Jane was a wonderful member of our community and will be missed. We will hold you in the Light. ~ Your Friends At The Wilmington Friends School Jones House
    09/13/2019 09:11 am
    Jane Elliott Rafal writes,
    Sometimes in life you meet a person who stays in your heart forever. Jane was that person for me. How lucky we all were to have her touch our lives. My condolences to Jane's wonderful family. She was so proud of all of you.
    09/17/2019 11:49 am
    M.Q. Riding writes,
    I am so fortunate to have had Jane in my life & to carry with me many memories of constructive and joyous endeavors. My thoughts go out to her family and everyone who knew her.
    10/03/2019 12:11 pm
    Lee Garlington writes,
    Jane Frelick was for me, as for many, my surrogate mom. She was the mom of my dreams, and I will never forget her warm embraces and spontaneous back rubs. The Frelick clan is my true north for what it means to be a family, and Sally, Scott and Bill are three of my dearest friends. The world is such a better place for Jane and her tribe. I am so blessed to have stumbled into their lives at the age of 15, and to be embraced by them for the last 51 years. And I know, for a fact, I am not alone in this feeling. Even though I was not born into this family, and I did not give birth to a family like this, I got to experience it. I got to be a part of it because of their inclusiveness, curiosity, and generous natures. God bless Jane and Dr. Bob for what they created, the ripple effects of which are endless...
    10/03/2019 03:47 pm
    Steve and Cathy Felt lit a candle and writes,
    Dear Sally and Bill and to all the family and friends of Jane. I had the pleasure of being part of knowing the Frelick clan in my early years at Brandywine High School and in my later years we reconnected through Terry Sally and Bill. As you gather together to celebrate Jane’s life...please take with you the best memories and thoughts to share with each other . That will be her greatest gift to everyone . Our hearts are with you.
    10/04/2019 07:39 pm
    Steve and Cathy Felt lit a candle and writes,
    Dear Sally,Terry,Claire, Bill and to all the family and friends of Jane. Cathy and I wish you all the most joyous and cherished memories of Jane as you gather together to celebrate her life. I first connected with the Frelick clan at Brandywine High School 72' and Cathy and I had the pleasure to re-connect years later through Terry ,Sally ,Claire and Bill through work and birding. We are the better for Jane and Dr.Bob's legacy. God Bless!
    10/05/2019 08:48 am
    Bea Wagner writes,
    I met Jane Frelick in the early 1970 when I was hired by Dr. Bob Frelick as a Nurse Clinical Specialist. I loved working for Dr. Frelick. Jane was a true partner to him in their practice of medicine in Deerhurst. Jane had a great sense of humor, was a loyal and loving heart for her children. She set an example for women and the need to be independent, brave, and loyal. Her energy allowed her to seek justice for all, to stand up for children and still be a unique character among us. Jane was very supportive of me and became a friend I would see in Dewey Beach. My deepest condolences to her wonderful children on this loss of your mother. She often spoke of each of you with such admiration and love. Rest In Peace and Love.
    10/05/2019 11:28 am
    Bea Wagner lit a candle
    10/05/2019 11:31 am
    prakash vaidy lit a candle and writes,
    Jane Frelick lived amongst our lives with such vigor, enthusiasm and positive energy! She will continue to live in our hearts forever. Always so giving in nature, she was an avid member of Blood Bank of DE, and always so active in recruiting donors. Both Jane and Bob are such legends and we are fortunate to have had Jane as our friend and UU colleague:)
    10/05/2019 01:38 pm
    Joanne Newlin writes,
    Dear Frelick Family, I was so engrossed with what your family meant to my son, Chuck, that I forgot for the moment what Jane meant to me and how she changed my life for the better. She made a call to me and asked if I would like to work for Dr. Bob, as he was having a difficult time keeping a secretary. I had little to no experience, but realized this was an opportunity to begin a new and productive life.. I went to work for him at the Memorial Hospital, and feared I wouldn’t last a week. Thirty-four years later I retired from Christiana Care. This opportunity would have never opened up for me if it weren’t for your mom. Please count me as one of those who,she lifted beyond imagination.
    10/05/2019 09:42 pm

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