Melvin Howard Barr Jr. of Hockessin, Delaware, was embraced in love by his family as he peacefully left his physical body on December 25, 2025. He was 83 years old and lived a full, adventurous, and beautiful life.
Born in 1942, to Melvin (Sr.) and Ophelia (Fee) Barr, Mel was raised in Ebensburg, Pennsylvania. He attended the Carnegie Institute of Technology, where he graduated with a degree in Civil Engineering in 1965. He went on to earn his Master’s in Public Administration from New York University in the early 1970s. Following college, he settled in Fairfield County, Connecticut, which he called home for the next fifty years.
Mel was a man with an unwavering work ethic. He spent his career in urban planning and served as the Town Planner for Westport, Connecticut, for 15 years. In 1988, he branched out and started his own consulting business, Barr Associates, which he ran until his retirement in 2020. By word of mouth, his business flourished, and he had clients knocking on his door well after he retired. He dedicated his career to a field he was passionate about and left a lasting mark on the town of Westport.
While his life’s work was dedicated to town planning, his heart was devoted to his family. His daughters, Debi and Becky, and his four grandsons, Ben, Levi, Peter, and Ian, were the center of his world. Mel demonstrated his love through his presence, humor, kindness, consistency, wisdom, and immense generosity. He led by example, fostering a family bonded by laughter, love, and the pursuit of new adventures. His passion was experiences over possessions, and he lived this through his life motto: Try Everything Once. He invited the family to explore unique opportunities, including new foods, board and card games, exposure to the arts, vacation destinations, or anything else that would expand their experience of the world. Try Everything Once has become a family legacy that will surely be passed on to his great-grandchildren and beyond.
When he became a grandfather, he was lovingly named Pagi (PAH-jee), which was short for Papa Gino, a local restaurant in Norwalk, Connecticut. While some people in his life still referred to him as Mel, an overwhelming majority began to call him Pagi—a nickname he fully embraced.
Pagi was a man who loved many things. He loved dessert before dinner, particularly ice cream with hot fudge or anything with peanut butter; afternoon drives in his convertible to nowhere in particular; cheering on his Pittsburgh Steelers and UConn Women’s Basketball teams; snorkel-filled adventures to tropical islands; sushi and thin-crust pizza (but not together); 18 holes with his buddies, keeping score by the number of balls he lost; and the arts, with an emphasis on live performances of any kind. When it came to physical possessions, the thing Pagi adored most was tigers. His home was filled with a myriad of tiger-related items: figurines, calendars, stuffed animals, mugs, socks, paintings, and his beloved tiger blanket. Above all, what he loved most were the simple moments with his family—lost in storytelling, uninhibited laughter, and abundant joy.
Mel is survived by his daughters, Debi Feinman and Becky Massey, and his four grandsons: Ben Feinman (and wife Paige), Levi Massey (and wife Sloane), Peter Feinman, and Ian Massey. He will be profoundly missed and lovingly remembered for his silly humor, adventurous spirit, generosity, and love.
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